Gentle

Does anyone else suffer from this?

Here I find myself at 3.22pm with another day of absolutely nothing achieved whatsoever.

Really, I should have gone to the park and fed some ducks instead of staring blankly at the computer screen interspersed with mindless bouts of profile trawling on MySpace.

Yes, I am so 2004.

The lovely Via Tania comes to play some shows for you at:

Pianos - Friday October 1st

Petes Candy Store - Tuesday October 5th

x

Designer Sale... One Day Only!

Saturday 7th August 10am-6pm CASH ONLY

15-19 Vere St, Collingwood, VIC, 3066

Off Wellington Street

Exclusive end of seasons bargains from some of Melbourne's top fashion
talent including:....

obüs
Pola
ammo
Tina Borg
Munk
Penelope Durston
Alpha 60
and
Special

Sorry to be a slut.

'Boltanski' is currently on spot rotation on Triple J. Help push 'Boltanski' into Triple J's Net 50 countdown, which takes place every Saturday at 6pm, by voting for the song here. It's not presently listed so you have to input the song and artist title yourself.

Here's a link

http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/net50/vote.htm

Feel free to vote as many times as you like!
Thanks!

Fyi ...

We are delighted to announce the launch of the REALISE YOUR DREAM
program
for Young Australians. The attached media release will give you more
information about the program and this link gives all the information
needed
http://www.britishcouncil.org.au/Realise-Your-Dream/ We would be
delighted
if you could promote it to your networks of 18 - 24 year old young
Australians.

Young Australians who aspire to an influential career in the creative
industries can stop rubbing lamps and praying for genies because British
Council Australia's REALISE YOUR DREAM programme opens today - offering
talented 18 to 24 year olds a real chance to make their career dreams a
reality.

Three AU$10,000 awards to the UK are up for grabs, each offering an
opportunity for winners to connect with top UK professionals in their
chosen
field of endeavour.

Hi kids,

Rekindle the indie weakling in your heart with these Splendid shows coming up in May. I am helping them do this, if you don't come I will cry. Then break your arm. Please notify other fledglings in Canberra, Sydney etc.

SPLENDID (Angie Hart and Jesse Tobias) on TOUR in MAY

Tuesday May 4th - Hopetoun Sydney with TOM MORGAN and LITTLE SKY
Thursday May 6th - Toast Canberra with JESS McAVOY
Saturday May 8th - Salarium Space with some people I don't know
Thursday May 13th - Rob Roy with VIA TANIA and EMILY ULMAN
Friday May 14th - Ian Potter Gallery, City. ARTY FARTY!

Free pash for everyone that comes.

I can't believe I haven't written in here for so long. And how ugly and 2003 my lovejournal page looks. Can anyone help me make it sexier.

My sister is coming for dinner tonight I haven't seen her in about two years - she has been living in Ireland.

She has this semi-tourettes syndrome where she says "So what are you up to?" about 73 times in a row within five minutes. She usually calms down after that. Can you cope?

Does anyone out there chant and pant for Frente in their twee indie hearts? I do hope so - I have them coming out to play in May and i am terrified none of you will come. Maybe I should add an indie disco to the end of the evening and sex it all up.

Well are you excited I am back? I do hope so.

BTW I believe Ikea has evil powers now he is richer than Bill Gates it's all a ploy to suck you into primary colour therapy and the stuff always looks awful out of the shop - in store it's like some gay nazi utopis where noone farts or anything.

Super duper designer clearance THIS SATURDAY!

WHERE? Upstairs at Bar Open, 317 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy.
WHEN? This Saturday, Saturday July 26th, 12pm - 6pm.
WHAT? Unbelievable bargains from award-winning designers Princess Highway and Phillips

DRESSES from $30. JEANS from $20. TOPS from $10. SKIRTS from $10.

Get yourself a bargain upstairs and a drink downstairs...

MORE INFO... CALL 03) 9425 9912...

i think i have a secret email hater. i don't like these anonymous types leaving glib anonymous comments and generally being fucking cunt faced. fuck. you.

is everyone excited by my birthday. my mum is coming which will be hysterical. please be polite but also smoke loads of cigarettes so she will beat a hasty exit.

i am still at work. i turned into a teenage cave woman today.

i miss cobra killer. do you miss them too?

PS peaches is supporting bjork. in moscow. mystic.

i miss ben o'connor and guy blackman

i wrote this as a response to dear tannith but i thought it could double up as a recent entry as it falls into a semi-novelesque attitude in length. tolstoy 2008.

wear me backwards!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

we so don't need a vice here. what is the point of it all? i do not understand. it's as bad as sound unlimited posse thinking they were nwa or something. lame-o, very lame-o.

of course though tim's piece opn vivz was the saving grace of issue #1.

i have a mind melt. i didn't get drunk instead on the weekend.

i am so gald i didn't go to the party. it sounded hardcore lame-ass. anyone catch crabs off ryan mcginley? please let me know if you did. we can put them under the microscope and see if they are cooler than regular crabs.

i hope he had a good time here. i hope he wasn't shown a bad mock new york version of melbourne - like only cool places. i love all the bad things about melbourne. that is waht amkes it spech.

here is a guide of what visitors should be shown when they come to melbourne:

camy shanghai dumpling noodle bar
winston dumpling and noodle bar - in case you don't already know this is the incredible new version of camy - like brown is the new black. plus they have vegatarian dumplings, veggo fans.
victoria hotel - stale beer at just below normal prices! no natural light! i love it
will's house but only in summer
clint's crazy prices - smith st etc
$2 hot potato crazy prices shop - swanston st

at work we are listening to an incredible telstar album - rap attack from 1984 - all of the songs - white lines, hey you rocky steady crew etc NOT by the original artists. it is golden. there is also one original which is mind bending - the aussie rap. i will learn the words to entertain you all.

we went to borders before - so mnay trendy cunts there i was dying of realness.

PS i am obsessed with search for a male stripper that was on TV last night. such a gentle blend of appallingness and actually no goodness whatsoever. it was mind blowing. i particularly liked the semi retarded accountant stripping in front of his migrant parents with a body like a sack of potatoes and boils on his back. it was elating/suicidal TV at its best.

soundtrack for tonight: cherie lady by modern talking

i am not going to the vice party - the whole idea makes me feel tired to the core.

i cannot be bothered to join masses of trendoids pointing and staring at the fleas jumping off ryan mcginleys cock.

plus i need a haircut - and it is nowhere near the so bad it's good stage - it's just plain badness.

plus i have a serious pants day and in my old age i am finding it increasingly more difficult to get excited by a free bar and the subsequent kissing of porcelain and hell the next day. not good. i need to be on the ball. look at that man? look at his ball bag!

anyone out there a fan of the flirts?

who knows i may change my mind and you may see me there.

be incredible and report back to me xxx

hi losers

sorry for the break in transmission. my life became suddenly oh so very real. i was sucked into a fashion vortex and became incredible, debating the length of t-shirt dresses, whether bartacking yellow leather spots to a boomerang shaped skirt would appeal to the japanese, and mostly stying up late late late.... helping people continue to be incredible. oh i am tired tonight.

it is getting wintery and really good here, except i am losing the circulation in my left hand and foot. i think this is a gentle blend of chronic substance abuse -and wolfing down cigarettes by the packet.

so that's that - nothing much else has happened since then but i am alive and well. it is my 30th (my god - the terror) on may 10th so send me presents or come visit me at my house. i am having an incredible party chez will and it will be so incredible.

ok love you miss you mean it. sorry for being crap.

xxx

it is tuesday. i got out of bed at 1pm (2pm really - let's face it this daylight saving thing is just not reality). my head is sore. too much beer, again. oh and shots and a glass of of wine. oh well, at least started the evening with a refreshing glass of lemon squash.

my incredible face rash is back - or pigeon AIDS as my friend Cass used to call it. it is my "officially having too much fun" disease which occurs when i officially have too much fun.

sunday night was officially too much fun. oh my god the pictures that sweet twink took are taking of breath, particularly you hot chicks worshipping at the shrine of viviano. how come we are all so much fun? i am annoyed with the venue though.

alex and tannith and charlie were all such superstar DJs - it was such legendary sonic feats going on. i wish i sported less conservative/sporty attire. still what can you do.

our lesbian friends are very fond of alia on a sunday night it seems. oops i just remembeered that all my cds and records are in a total mess in the bottom of my bag still. covered in beer too probably.

OK bye peoples.

OK slack moles do not forget to come to ALIA tonight, go sick go mental.

I am going to do a yoga DVD this afternoon - if only for the fact that I have done ZERO excercise in the last year.

Watch out I will turn into He-Man.

I dreamt that my bread board was full of little moths, emerging from cooons nestled in the cracks of the wood. Nice.

I am eating free candy from the Sportsgirl "fashion" "show" of a couple of weeks back. It's incredible Blackpool esque themed "rock", that says sportsgirl in the body of the candy. It is sugar flavoured basically.

OK see you later tonight. If you do not come you are in serious trouble from me.

"If my son had pulled a gun on Lil Kim, I wish
he'd blown her brains out" - Notorious Big's Mom

Here is my incredible plan, to stow away in a fat lady's suitcase to New York and live the life of the young Madonna: dance classes in ratty tights during the day, my hair held up out of my face by some oily old rag - maybe a piece of a flannelette shirt that used to belong to Henry Rollins (a la JT Leroy). After my incredible rehearsals I will traipse the streets sporting overalls with a scratchy black lace bodysuit underneath. I will sift through garbage bins on the sidewalk for stray french fries and chunks of partially digested Cheeseburgers. I will sleep in cinemas during their Almodovar 24 hour retrospectives - snug and warm.

Then I will invent my new Electroclash band EURO PANTIES and I will be joined by two sizzling hot backing dancers. We will gyrate in a desperate fashion to Bobby O flavroued backing tracks. Our first single will be a cover of I'd Rather Jack (Than Fleetwood Mac) by the Reynolds Girls. We will be hott. You will buy me drinks at Lux. OK bye.

xxxxx

PS: Don't forget to come to Alia Sunday night OK?

Oh! I do live in Melbourne. Therefore I will be doing this on Sunday, and if you live in Melbourne I expect you to do the very same, thanking you very muchly.

PLAY DOH @ ALIA, Sunday March 30th, 10pm til BEDTIME

Sunday shenanigans from musical reprobates DJ POMME NOISETTE (OUR FEMMES ELECTRIQUES) (IE: ME!!!!!!), TSD (ROB ROY amongst OTHERS) (IE: THE TANNITH!!!!!!!!!), WODONGA PLAZA (NORTHSIDE FRIED CHICKEN MASSIVE) (IE: THE VIVIANO!!!!!!!) and SMOKEY (EASTSIDE REALNESS) (IE: THE CHARLIE!!!!!!).

Our shit comes in all different flavours!

Hip Hop, Rawk, Noisenik Pop, Electro Tantrums and Heartfelt Ballads.

Toes will be tapping and if that's the case, it's very likely feet will be dancing too! Join them if you must!

But wait! There's more! Drinks available from the bar! Including alcohol! Call now and win a free set of steak knives!

All yours for a meagre $4 on the door.

Be there or be square. Play Doh! THIS SUNDAY

ALIA, corner Gertrude and Smith Streets, Fitzroy.

If you don't come you are so spewed on, OK?

WARP ULTRADANCE TOUR 2003

Plaid / Andrew Weatherall / Prefuse73 and Warp DJs are
winging their way to you as we speak to dispense some
serious Ultradance® action. Check the lovely tDR'ed flyer
here: http://www.warprecords.com/image.php?id=3680/

There are tickets on the door for all the shows, so get
down there early.

New York Wed 26th March. Webster Hall (big party!)
125 E. 11th Street, 10003 (212)-353-1600
www.websterhall.com