Gentle

Crippling Procrastination

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 05:28:02 GMT

Does anyone else suffer from this?

Here I find myself at 3.22pm with another day of absolutely nothing achieved whatsoever.

Really, I should have gone to the park and fed some ducks instead of staring blankly at the computer screen interspersed with mindless bouts of profile trawling on MySpace.

Yes, I am so 2004.

Hey New York play pals

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 13:54:28 GMT

The lovely Via Tania comes to play some shows for you at:

Pianos - Friday October 1st

Petes Candy Store - Tuesday October 5th

x

soz to be a slut (again) designer sale

Tue, 03 Aug 2004 03:51:36 GMT

Designer Sale... One Day Only!

Saturday 7th August 10am-6pm CASH ONLY

15-19 Vere St, Collingwood, VIC, 3066

Off Wellington Street

Exclusive end of seasons bargains from some of Melbourne's top fashion
talent including:....

obüs
Pola
ammo
Tina Borg
Munk
Penelope Durston
Alpha 60
and
Special

Please vote for Via Tania in the Triple J Net Top 50

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 07:27:29 GMT

Sorry to be a slut.

'Boltanski' is currently on spot rotation on Triple J. Help push 'Boltanski' into Triple J's Net 50 countdown, which takes place every Saturday at 6pm, by voting for the song here. It's not presently listed so you have to input the song and artist title yourself.

Here's a link

http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/net50/vote.htm

Feel free to vote as many times as you like!
Thanks!

Attention youngsters - this is GOOD

Mon, 03 May 2004 03:13:20 GMT

Fyi ...

We are delighted to announce the launch of the REALISE YOUR DREAM
program
for Young Australians. The attached media release will give you more
information about the program and this link gives all the information
needed
http://www.britishcouncil.org.au/Realise-Your-Dream/ We would be
delighted
if you could promote it to your networks of 18 - 24 year old young
Australians.

Young Australians who aspire to an influential career in the creative
industries can stop rubbing lamps and praying for genies because British
Council Australia's REALISE YOUR DREAM programme opens today - offering
talented 18 to 24 year olds a real chance to make their career dreams a
reality.

Three AU$10,000 awards to the UK are up for grabs, each offering an
opportunity for winners to connect with top UK professionals in their
chosen
field of endeavour.

Splendid - Angie Hart

Wed, 21 Apr 2004 16:02:10 GMT

Hi kids,

Rekindle the indie weakling in your heart with these Splendid shows coming up in May. I am helping them do this, if you don't come I will cry. Then break your arm. Please notify other fledglings in Canberra, Sydney etc.

SPLENDID (Angie Hart and Jesse Tobias) on TOUR in MAY

Tuesday May 4th - Hopetoun Sydney with TOM MORGAN and LITTLE SKY
Thursday May 6th - Toast Canberra with JESS McAVOY
Saturday May 8th - Salarium Space with some people I don't know
Thursday May 13th - Rob Roy with VIA TANIA and EMILY ULMAN
Friday May 14th - Ian Potter Gallery, City. ARTY FARTY!

Free pash for everyone that comes.

Wow I am back

Mon, 19 Apr 2004 08:41:48 GMT

I can't believe I haven't written in here for so long. And how ugly and 2003 my lovejournal page looks. Can anyone help me make it sexier.

My sister is coming for dinner tonight I haven't seen her in about two years - she has been living in Ireland.

She has this semi-tourettes syndrome where she says "So what are you up to?" about 73 times in a row within five minutes. She usually calms down after that. Can you cope?

Does anyone out there chant and pant for Frente in their twee indie hearts? I do hope so - I have them coming out to play in May and i am terrified none of you will come. Maybe I should add an indie disco to the end of the evening and sex it all up.

Well are you excited I am back? I do hope so.

BTW I believe Ikea has evil powers now he is richer than Bill Gates it's all a ploy to suck you into primary colour therapy and the stuff always looks awful out of the shop - in store it's like some gay nazi utopis where noone farts or anything.

sorry to be a slag please come and buy some clothes

Mon, 21 Jul 2003 08:08:41 GMT

Super duper designer clearance THIS SATURDAY!

WHERE? Upstairs at Bar Open, 317 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy.
WHEN? This Saturday, Saturday July 26th, 12pm - 6pm.
WHAT? Unbelievable bargains from award-winning designers Princess Highway and Phillips

DRESSES from $30. JEANS from $20. TOPS from $10. SKIRTS from $10.

Get yourself a bargain upstairs and a drink downstairs...

MORE INFO... CALL 03) 9425 9912...

hate hate hate

Thu, 08 May 2003 14:35:49 GMT

i think i have a secret email hater. i don't like these anonymous types leaving glib anonymous comments and generally being fucking cunt faced. fuck. you.

is everyone excited by my birthday. my mum is coming which will be hysterical. please be polite but also smoke loads of cigarettes so she will beat a hasty exit.

i am still at work. i turned into a teenage cave woman today.

i miss cobra killer. do you miss them too?

PS peaches is supporting bjork. in moscow. mystic.

ps:

Tue, 06 May 2003 12:15:26 GMT

i miss ben o'connor and guy blackman

hott and cutt - mmmm bop - fashion

Tue, 06 May 2003 12:00:10 GMT

i wrote this as a response to dear tannith but i thought it could double up as a recent entry as it falls into a semi-novelesque attitude in length. tolstoy 2008.

wear me backwards!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

we so don't need a vice here. what is the point of it all? i do not understand. it's as bad as sound unlimited posse thinking they were nwa or something. lame-o, very lame-o.

of course though tim's piece opn vivz was the saving grace of issue #1.

i have a mind melt. i didn't get drunk instead on the weekend.

i am so gald i didn't go to the party. it sounded hardcore lame-ass. anyone catch crabs off ryan mcginley? please let me know if you did. we can put them under the microscope and see if they are cooler than regular crabs.

i hope he had a good time here. i hope he wasn't shown a bad mock new york version of melbourne - like only cool places. i love all the bad things about melbourne. that is waht amkes it spech.

here is a guide of what visitors should be shown when they come to melbourne:

camy shanghai dumpling noodle bar
winston dumpling and noodle bar - in case you don't already know this is the incredible new version of camy - like brown is the new black. plus they have vegatarian dumplings, veggo fans.
victoria hotel - stale beer at just below normal prices! no natural light! i love it
will's house but only in summer
clint's crazy prices - smith st etc
$2 hot potato crazy prices shop - swanston st

at work we are listening to an incredible telstar album - rap attack from 1984 - all of the songs - white lines, hey you rocky steady crew etc NOT by the original artists. it is golden. there is also one original which is mind bending - the aussie rap. i will learn the words to entertain you all.

we went to borders before - so mnay trendy cunts there i was dying of realness.

OH

Sun, 04 May 2003 12:22:44 GMT

PS i am obsessed with search for a male stripper that was on TV last night. such a gentle blend of appallingness and actually no goodness whatsoever. it was mind blowing. i particularly liked the semi retarded accountant stripping in front of his migrant parents with a body like a sack of potatoes and boils on his back. it was elating/suicidal TV at its best.

soundtrack for tonight: cherie lady by modern talking

anti vice

Thu, 01 May 2003 08:34:00 GMT

i am not going to the vice party - the whole idea makes me feel tired to the core.

i cannot be bothered to join masses of trendoids pointing and staring at the fleas jumping off ryan mcginleys cock.

plus i need a haircut - and it is nowhere near the so bad it's good stage - it's just plain badness.

plus i have a serious pants day and in my old age i am finding it increasingly more difficult to get excited by a free bar and the subsequent kissing of porcelain and hell the next day. not good. i need to be on the ball. look at that man? look at his ball bag!

anyone out there a fan of the flirts?

who knows i may change my mind and you may see me there.

be incredible and report back to me xxx

i'm back back

Wed, 30 Apr 2003 10:56:13 GMT

hi losers

sorry for the break in transmission. my life became suddenly oh so very real. i was sucked into a fashion vortex and became incredible, debating the length of t-shirt dresses, whether bartacking yellow leather spots to a boomerang shaped skirt would appeal to the japanese, and mostly stying up late late late.... helping people continue to be incredible. oh i am tired tonight.

it is getting wintery and really good here, except i am losing the circulation in my left hand and foot. i think this is a gentle blend of chronic substance abuse -and wolfing down cigarettes by the packet.

so that's that - nothing much else has happened since then but i am alive and well. it is my 30th (my god - the terror) on may 10th so send me presents or come visit me at my house. i am having an incredible party chez will and it will be so incredible.

ok love you miss you mean it. sorry for being crap.

xxx

glorious excess

Tue, 01 Apr 2003 03:51:33 GMT

it is tuesday. i got out of bed at 1pm (2pm really - let's face it this daylight saving thing is just not reality). my head is sore. too much beer, again. oh and shots and a glass of of wine. oh well, at least started the evening with a refreshing glass of lemon squash.

my incredible face rash is back - or pigeon AIDS as my friend Cass used to call it. it is my "officially having too much fun" disease which occurs when i officially have too much fun.

sunday night was officially too much fun. oh my god the pictures that sweet twink took are taking of breath, particularly you hot chicks worshipping at the shrine of viviano. how come we are all so much fun? i am annoyed with the venue though.

alex and tannith and charlie were all such superstar DJs - it was such legendary sonic feats going on. i wish i sported less conservative/sporty attire. still what can you do.

our lesbian friends are very fond of alia on a sunday night it seems. oops i just remembeered that all my cds and records are in a total mess in the bottom of my bag still. covered in beer too probably.

OK bye peoples.

moles

Sun, 30 Mar 2003 07:07:10 GMT

OK slack moles do not forget to come to ALIA tonight, go sick go mental.

I am going to do a yoga DVD this afternoon - if only for the fact that I have done ZERO excercise in the last year.

Watch out I will turn into He-Man.

I dreamt that my bread board was full of little moths, emerging from cooons nestled in the cracks of the wood. Nice.

I am eating free candy from the Sportsgirl "fashion" "show" of a couple of weeks back. It's incredible Blackpool esque themed "rock", that says sportsgirl in the body of the candy. It is sugar flavoured basically.

OK see you later tonight. If you do not come you are in serious trouble from me.

GENIUS

Thu, 27 Mar 2003 07:32:35 GMT

"If my son had pulled a gun on Lil Kim, I wish
he'd blown her brains out" - Notorious Big's Mom

Euro Panties

Thu, 27 Mar 2003 04:53:42 GMT

Here is my incredible plan, to stow away in a fat lady's suitcase to New York and live the life of the young Madonna: dance classes in ratty tights during the day, my hair held up out of my face by some oily old rag - maybe a piece of a flannelette shirt that used to belong to Henry Rollins (a la JT Leroy). After my incredible rehearsals I will traipse the streets sporting overalls with a scratchy black lace bodysuit underneath. I will sift through garbage bins on the sidewalk for stray french fries and chunks of partially digested Cheeseburgers. I will sleep in cinemas during their Almodovar 24 hour retrospectives - snug and warm.

Then I will invent my new Electroclash band EURO PANTIES and I will be joined by two sizzling hot backing dancers. We will gyrate in a desperate fashion to Bobby O flavroued backing tracks. Our first single will be a cover of I'd Rather Jack (Than Fleetwood Mac) by the Reynolds Girls. We will be hott. You will buy me drinks at Lux. OK bye.

xxxxx

PS: Don't forget to come to Alia Sunday night OK?

And if I lived in Melbourne

Thu, 27 Mar 2003 04:43:05 GMT

Oh! I do live in Melbourne. Therefore I will be doing this on Sunday, and if you live in Melbourne I expect you to do the very same, thanking you very muchly.

PLAY DOH @ ALIA, Sunday March 30th, 10pm til BEDTIME

Sunday shenanigans from musical reprobates DJ POMME NOISETTE (OUR FEMMES ELECTRIQUES) (IE: ME!!!!!!), TSD (ROB ROY amongst OTHERS) (IE: THE TANNITH!!!!!!!!!), WODONGA PLAZA (NORTHSIDE FRIED CHICKEN MASSIVE) (IE: THE VIVIANO!!!!!!!) and SMOKEY (EASTSIDE REALNESS) (IE: THE CHARLIE!!!!!!).

Our shit comes in all different flavours!

Hip Hop, Rawk, Noisenik Pop, Electro Tantrums and Heartfelt Ballads.

Toes will be tapping and if that's the case, it's very likely feet will be dancing too! Join them if you must!

But wait! There's more! Drinks available from the bar! Including alcohol! Call now and win a free set of steak knives!

All yours for a meagre $4 on the door.

Be there or be square. Play Doh! THIS SUNDAY

ALIA, corner Gertrude and Smith Streets, Fitzroy.

If you don't come you are so spewed on, OK?

I would be going to this if I lived in NYC

Wed, 26 Mar 2003 00:10:16 GMT

WARP ULTRADANCE TOUR 2003

Plaid / Andrew Weatherall / Prefuse73 and Warp DJs are
winging their way to you as we speak to dispense some
serious Ultradance® action. Check the lovely tDR'ed flyer
here: http://www.warprecords.com/image.php?id=3680/

There are tickets on the door for all the shows, so get
down there early.

New York Wed 26th March. Webster Hall (big party!)
125 E. 11th Street, 10003 (212)-353-1600
www.websterhall.com

Good fags/bad fags

Tue, 25 Mar 2003 13:20:31 GMT

It's so hard to find a good quality joke getting fag in Melbottom, let alone assembling them all into one good disco and all be genius together and generally go beserk.

We are thinking of putting on another "ARE FEMMES ELECTRIQUES?" and I have to think of a new way to permeate gay culture, to hoodwink all the baby gays, the twinks and the bambies to follow (blow, perhaps) my pied pipe and turn over night into neo new romantic fem bot incredibilities. But this is not going to happen.

Why are so many fags so happy to toe the cliched line? Personal development is such an incredible thing and such an oppurtunity to be incredible and new again in the most exciting way. I read this article by Murray Healy not so long ago saying that Coming Out these days is essentially a style makeover and he's right.

Even most of the non-gay gays here are so boring and humourless - so goddam afraid of putting a toe out of line and laughing about anything. So many stiffs at Q&A.

Oh I have to interrupt for a second - I am listening to four new tracks from Stina Nordenstam - that I hookwinked somebody out of under very dubious circumstances - and they are so good. There's one about Winter killing her and crying in customs and it's genius.

I digress. In any other city you must get a wide selection of brash outrageous and free individuals. I want freaks and weirdos. Where are you all? I want people with dildos glued to their heads wearing gloves on their feet.

I heard the best story (this is years ago) about the lead singer Sarah of twee pop-electro types Dubstar being such an incredible pisshead and getting SLAUGHTERED out of her mind with no idea what she was doing going to the fish and chip shop wearing an open fur coat and gloves on her feet. Do you love it? Many rigolees of the moon.

Of course there are a few diamonds in the snow - you all know who you are. I just wish there were more of us.

I had lunch with Bernadette today at Koo Koo which was nice - it is weird though - this non working relationship. This lovely programming guy was there, straight off the plane from 28 hours from Reykjavik to Melbourne. He told me about Bjork's new house in Upstate New York and we talked Reykjavik Reykjavik Reykjavik.

Oh Reykjavik, sigh. SO many hot boys. Has anyone else been there? The genius tragic gay clubs. The food. The alcoholic obliteration. Spotlight. Sigh.

Tomorrow is another day. I WILL work. I WILL have a job.

I AM THE BEST, AFTER ALL. At (of?) what I am not entirely sure, but I do it with panache.

Visual Abortions

Fri, 21 Mar 2003 01:07:42 GMT

Darling Heartlecias,

It has been an age, I know. So much has happened and yet there's so little to tell. I am still job free and have almost come to some happy sort of medium in regards to this. Very "Que Sera, Sera" in a modern day, Doris Day stylee - red gingham picnic outfits and blonde wigs and facial hair.

It is Friday, and looking out the window it seems as if the world hasn't blown up just yet, although who am I to say? I don't have TV or radio so I wouldn't have a fucking clue. I know bad things are going to happen but at this stage I feel a tad "whatevz"-zy (copyright A. Viviano III). It's all about me OK?

Melbourne "Fashion" Week has been on - singularly the most depressing, pointless "fashion" "event" on the face of the Earth. I know, let's do group catwalk shows of collections that are going instore this week for the public and charge sad, sad members of the public to pay through the nose to go see these "shows" and feel like they are part of the "scene". Whuuut?

It is so tragic and serious pants and so full of tragic losers. So wrist slitting it has sent me into a total spiral of decline. My friend George (god bless her, over her problems downstairs, Allah be praised) has a spare ticket to the Sportsgirl "fashion" "show". Well Sportsgirl warranting a show in the first instance is about enough to make me cry with laughter/mild hysteria.

The show was certainly an "event' - so wilfully schizophrenic it had the makings a Rock Estedford circa 1984. On acid. With lots of money. So it went something like this: I know, let's have some token black people because they are so cool! And have them doing Capoiera moves for about ten minutes to Brazillian drummers! And all the bleached pigs with their hair scraped back into ponytails will whoop and clap in delight at the "hot chocolate" on offer. Good God. I am not kidding you.

So that was the start - we were then treated to a girl pretending to tune her walkman to a "hot" radio station and suddenly to sizzling hot teen dudes appeared behind the decks (obviously not decked out in Sportsgirl) and started stratching appallingly.

Suddenly a flurry of girls styled by blind people flew up and down and backwards and forwards across the catwalk, most of them trying not to laugh. I certainly was. I think the brief must have been "everything and the kicthen sink". Let's offset this patchwork kimono sleeve top with flouresent fishnet bike shorts, lime green lace panties 44395873498 bangles, three belts, huge earrings, leg warmers, fingerless gloves and some hooker boots. The look could only be described as Alicia Keys finger fucking Kylie in a dark alley.

By now of course I had returned to the womb in my mind and was delirious with joy at the time and money wasted on such a steaming pile of shit of a "show" - but wait! There's more! A mock teen Princess Superstar-esque doing a Sportsgirl themed rap! Some fruity guys pretending to style the models to the tune of Girls Of Film sung live by Becky Thomas from The Mavis's (it was getting very surreal by now). Another token black person singing a soul song because he is black and that's all black people can do! How about getting them to model in the goddam show?

My mind had begun to truly melt by now, so I rummaged through my Sportsgirl goodie bag. Oh! a copy of Cleo, sadly not Bachelor Of The Year Issue, so no masturbation material there. Oh a Sportsgirl "Peace" bagde - to be sent to Joseph Tenni immediately.

Dean Sunshine was there - I told George about my elaborate Kim Wilde and the Wilde On Ice skate troupe/snow machine hoax I pulled on him and she died. Crying with laughter.

Most worrying was the fact that our state minister Steve Bracks was in the front row? Doesn't he have more pertinent issues to hand presently, like the security of our state? He could have easily been assinated with a studded belt or a heel. Or perhaps just died of laughter.

I have been cooking like a dog's hind leg of late. My culinary skills know no bounds. Can you cope? Lots of good soups and mind blowing salads. How gay and boring is that.

Youngest brother Ned came to stay the other night, after house hunting in Carnegie or something. God he pongs at the moment. What do you tell someone with BO issues? He was being nervy and weird and talking out of his arse basically so we went to the movies so I wouldn't have to have any goddam conversation with each other, praise Allah. City Of God, very good and very violent. I saw the poster and for some reason I thought it was going to be some cute slushy shit like "The Gods Must Be Crazy" but happily it was quite the opposite.

Tonight I have been coerced into MCing some bullshit anti-fashion parade at Croft Institute for charidee. They better ply me with the grog or I will have a tantrum.

Last night I made incredible French Onion soup and Yvonne came hope and then her DJ pal Daniel and a friend of his from Canada. They opened a couple of bottles of red and then they had my soup instead of going out and it was fun, but I started to think that the Canadian dude was starting to get a bit friendly with me, very tactile and attentive. I thought I was imagining it initially because I am insane, but we went out for a quick drink and coffee and Yvonne pulled me aside and said "I think that guy likes you". Weird vibes, I was starting to feel uncomfortable. Not that anything was happening but my throat would be totally slit if I was unfaithful - and I haven't been looking and I NEVER get approached (or not that I notice).

I guess it should be a nice feeling. I don't know where I end and other people begin. All my nerve endings are on the outside of my skin.

Tue, 11 Mar 2003 00:56:29 GMT

It's been a while between drinks, I know.

I wish there was more hott news to report, but sadly times have been largely fun-free. There have been pockets of rediculous activity of course, none of which I can be bothered to recall at this stage of another Tuesday morning.

Five sad songs for today:

From The Hip - Lloyd Cole and The Commotions
I Try - Billie Ray Martin
Courtyard - Dusty Springfield
Hobart Paving - Saint Etienne
A Little Soul - Pulp

Tue, 25 Feb 2003 12:56:41 GMT

I feel totally ebbed and flowed, numb and unwilling to think beyond the moment presently. I am in denial. I am without a job and I have chosen in the past to be defined by my job, so what does this make me? At a loss I guess.

It's pretty pathetic I know, but by taking one moment and placing it in a context elsewhere things have remained stitched together. Things are beginning to unravel now and I have to let go I guess. I am not good at doing this. Understand.

I wish I had thought more about me in the past. At the epicentre it's always back to me and not wanting to think about me - ever since I was a little boy. I think it was a school thing about feeling unworthy or unimportant in the eyes of others that has made me half-baked and living mostly out of fear and approval. I want to stop this (I know that, at least) but I don't know what I want and to even think of demanding that frightens me.

My room looks as if it is mid-throes of a terrorist attack - so much grime off the street and piles of CDs, random scraps of paper, books etc. I think I have kind of done reverse Fung Shui on it, made it less welcoming and more insular - perhaps I need this.

I am going to go to my mum's house for a few days and gather my thoughts and mind and hopefully come back with a new outlook on life. I know there's the whole glass empty/full scenario and I know things will get better - but I have been lulled into a (what I know was) a very false sense of security - always on tenterhooks, and I was hoping this year to actually plant some seeds and start to build for a future. Not to end up in a dead end completely bewildered as to which step next to take. I am going to be 30 this year for god's sake.

This online confessional stuff is bizarre.

The never ending Summer

Mon, 24 Feb 2003 07:21:36 GMT

Well it's suddenly as hot as hell again. My apartment is relentless - in the evening the setting set reflects on the hotel on the East back through my bedroom windows - like sun on both sides. Nice - I am cooking like a jacket potato.

My lethargy is only matched by my appalling diet at the moment. McDonalds three times in three days. No wonder the pasty hairy spare tyre was on such good display at Rockpool.

So nice to see Bianca/Rowena/Jacqueltina/Georgina at Cornelius last night. The visuals were way good. The music was OK, it could have been the Japanese Beatles for all I cared. Me and the dear twink had Chinese on the way home, forgot to have dinner earlier.

No booze for me either - have realised that my drinking only seems to be in vast quantities presently (minimum 12 units in any sitting) - moderation is a word I care not to use or know. So nothing.

Oh - just listening to good old Miss Kittin - the line "when you touch my bum in the leeeeeft of the Empire State" has to be the funniest best and most plain dumb lyric ever.

I digress - our waiter was so smacky and out of it he brought our chinese tea over to us and basically proceeded to pour it all over the table - kind of like a bit for the cup a bit for the table. I found this really amusing. I know not why.

I got too much sun today and my face is a gorgeous shade of porcine pink - I hope it goes down a couple of pantone shades tomorrow.

Bye xxxx